Fall leaves burn brightly –
Radiant pastels
Scattered gently underfoot.
Scarlet colored wind
And whispers of breezes bite
Through burnt autumn breaths.
Fragrance of cool smoke –
Fresh air infiltrates.
Crystal droplets staining skin.
The city in a blanket.
Pine, with a shine of light.
Oh, what joy this brings.
I never thought that I would be someone who worried about her weight or size all the time, but that is who I have become. Every day, I look sideways in the mirror, at how my stomach pours out over my pants, at how my fat rolls as I move, at all of the extra me that I wish wasn’t there. I have grown so uncomfortable in my body, I wish I could just push the reset button – to go back to when I was 12 and I still loved my body. When I didn’t care about how I dressed or what I looked like to other people. But I don’t know how to end this cycle of hatred.
The character breakdowns for women put much more emphasis on looks, rather than personality, and frequently describe women in relation to the male character of a show or movie. Their sole purpose in films is often to just look beautiful – they are not given any motivation, besides pleasing a man, and the storyline revolves around that man and his goals and purpose.
This inequality of representation has resulted in a lack of understanding of women’s stories and perspectives. It has allowed the voices of men to dominate the narrative and proclaim what is true for women. It has produced a significant number of shallow, one-dimensional female characters for aspiring and professional actresses to vie for. Women have so few opportunities to exercise their range and ability in comparison to men, and the material available to them is a significant root cause.
I have a “Yes, and” relationship with theater. “Yes, and” is a term used in improvisation to advance a story that has been initiated – to give it life beyond what has already been established. This is what I believe needs to happen in the world of theater. I love the theater. It is where my heart truly lies, AND I recognize the need to expand our stories and imaginations beyond the expected and accepted.
I recently started listening to The Last Five Years on Spotify…